Remember your “homework” from last week? Find the sheet you filled out on how you see yourself acting most of the time.
Last week we read that most of us get tripped up by the same six problems. These six common problems are either triggers for our problems, or are reactions to other triggers. Sometimes these problems are the causes of our problems. At other times, they are reactions to a previous disturbing event.
When I gave you the list of issues to review, the names of the categories were left out so as not to prejudice your answers. I wanted to get you thinking how you see them at work in your own life or relationships. Here are the names of the categories:
Group 1 – ANXIETY
Group 2 – ANGER
Group 3 – DEPRESSION
Group 4 – SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
Group 5 – IMMODERATION OR IMPULSIVENESS
Group 6 – VULNERABILITY TO STRESS
Looking at the worksheet, you’ll see that the A group identifies behaviors that have a generally negative impact on oneself and one’s relationships, while the B group identifies behaviors that have a positive impact. Taken together, these six groups are the building blocks of emotional stability.
Whether in the A or B groups, the more items you identify with in each category, the more likely you are to experience that emotion and behavior. The more B items you checked, the more likely you are to experience stability in your relationships and overall emotional outlook. On the other hand, someone with more “yes” answers in the “A” categories is likely to experience more distress in his or her relationships and overall emotional health.
If you – like many people – saw things in your responses that you didn’t like seeing, I have good news for you: You can learn the skills necessary to cope and change negative habitual responses. At the same time, I must be honest with you: changing long-standing behaviors – habits – will take effort, and will require your constant attention. No quick fixes or short-cuts are allowed in the development of character.
In the coming weeks, we’ll look at each group individually and give you a menu of options for coping effectively with the challenge.
Between now and next week, decide on one category that you want to begin working on.
Be aware of the typical situations that are most likely to be triggers for your negative responses.
What is the impact of your actions on others?
When are you likely to respond in a positive way? What is different about those times?
If you’re so inclined, let me know how it goes for you…